Frank Ocean, Blonde: Track By Track Review (PART 1)

I have spent an unhealthy amount of time since 2012 complaining about Frank Ocean not releasing a follow up to the Grammy award winning ‘channel orange’. However this week the LA based singer released ‘Blonde’ as an Apple Music exclusive, much to the surprise and excitement of everyone in the world. As this album has been so exciting and epic (lasting just over an hour) I feel that the only fair review would be a pain-staking track by track review… Hold on tight.

Nikes

As the track begins I immediately thought “this is going to be the album of the year”, a deep ethereal bass line and distortion (which ultimately links this album together) caught me immediately. A pitched up Ocean sings about the trappings of greed and excess, referencing OD’d rappers such as A$AP Yams and Pimp C. The songs tone is rather miserable, Frank is tired of fakers, clingers on and all this money. It seems like on ‘Blonde’, he is searching for a bit of purity and joy- how fitting that this song makes me feel the same.

Ivy

The first of ‘Blonde’s many love songs. Ocean’s dreamy voice begins to shine on this track mores than it’s predecessor. The simplicity of this track makes ‘Ivy’ feel very idealistic and rose tinted, supported by lyrics of a childhood love completely lost (perhaps the same guy that Ocean yearned for on channel orange?). Although slightly edgeless, the truth of ‘Ivy’ is very enjoyable- something quite accessible to everyone that listens. 

Pink+White

At this point, Frank Ocean decides to flex his musical muscles with a playful and creative summer jam without the cheese. The gentle sound effects of tweeting birds launches you into the LA sunshine, and more specifically the beautiful imagination of Frank Ocean. This is the song that I wanted in June so I could spend my summer holiday smiling wild with headphones in. The song seems to branch further than the often simplistic R&B tropes of ‘channel orange’ with slightly less scale than songs like ‘Pyramids’ and ‘Lost. This is the sound of summer.

Be Yourself

A voice message from Frank’s mum telling him not to do drugs, judging by the subject matter of ‘Blonde’ he did not listen very well.

Solo

A far more swaggering and confident song, with a melodic gospel edge. No one really knows where Frank Ocean has been for the past four years, but I think this song gives a few clues. Judging by ‘Solo’; he has been driving cars, smoking weed and having sex. This chilled out ode to the green is perfect for long evenings doing nothing, it is almost Frank letting us know that it is all good in the end. It’s hell on earth, the city’s on fire/ Inhale, in hell there’s heaven.

Skyline To

Perhaps the two most significant things about this song, no one will realise. The first is this that the hazy guitar plucking and alien-esque whine production is by Tyler, the Creator (something that came as a huge surprise as the Odd Future rapper is known for his bombastic and cartoon take on music). The simplistic shouts of smoke! which complete this beautifully mellow Californian love letter is none other than Kendrick Lamar, the biggest rapper of this generation. Further proof that Frank Ocean can do whatever the hell he wants.

Self Control

Everyone I ask about ‘Blonde’, they tell me instantaneously that ‘Self Control’ is their favourite. It is effortlessly acoustic and romantic. The vocals by Austin Feinstein of Sleepy Hollows are a haunting accompaniment. The final moments are heart breaking, an outro to be reckoned with. However, for me, I do not see the appeal of the song. Maybe it is too wet, maybe it is too acoustic, maybe I just have no taste.

Good Guy

A lot has changed in four years. Something I find quite notable about the quick interlude ‘Good Guy’ is that Ocean can easily sing about a meaningless meet up with a dude and have no one make a deal out of it. Frank Ocean’s legacy will not just be a musician but as one of the first openly queer black male artists, a generation definer.

Blossoms, Blossoms Album Review

Blossoms’ self titled first album is frustrating, especially when trying to review. There seems to be nothing of any merit or value to begin to write about. Within the 41 minute LP of twelve songs there is actually nothing really worth discussing in depth. Like a discarded cigarette butt on your local high street, it does not warrant you to look any closer.

The band look like Temples, the band look like Horrors, the band look like Catfish and the Bottlemen. Blossoms follow in a long line of British indie bands that look like some teenagers with long hair. It feels that much of their songs have been lifted from bands that have been and gone. ‘At Most A Kiss’ is frighteningly similar to ‘Personal Jesus’ by Depeche Mode and closing track follows the jaunty hip-hop rhythm of ‘AM’. The Stockport band have no originality. Within the 12 tracks there includes one slow song (‘Onto Her Bed’), one acoustic song (‘My Favourite Room’) and one hit (‘Charlamange’). The latter of these is a bona fide ear worm, but does not make up for every other song being forgotten after even the fifth listen.

This album is not bad, but it certainly is in no way good. It is mundane, inoffensive, pedestrian. If Blossoms was a Haribo, it would be a milk bottle. 

Who's Who In Reading Festival

There are also some really good places in the UK, such as Thorpe Park. But there are also some really crap places in the UK, such as Aldershot. Reading Festival, the most important Bank Holiday for teenagers, is neither good nor bad. It’s diverse line up (this year stretching from Big Narstie to Asking Alexandria) the actual punters are a total cross section of British youth. But there are certainly a few people you will meet as you drag your old DofE rucksack through miles of piss soaked fields. Here are the drugs they’re taking, what they have on, and of course what they will be listening to…

Coachella Bae

These went to your secondary school and then somehow followed you to college. They have extremely long snapchat stories and seem to have gone out every single weekend since about year nine. The male version of the ‘Coachella Bae’ bring duffel bags to class and will never have a pen. At Reading Festival expect them to be ill-prepared in terms of footwear, covered in rushed henna and inviting people to sit on their laps around the campsite. 

What Drugs Are They Taking?

Cannabis, MDMA, Nos

What Are They Wearing?

Bumbags, Flower Crowns, Glitter, Cut Denim, Glitter, Braids, Glitter, Anything that could be perceived as culturally appropriative 

Who Are They Listening To?

A$AP Rocky, Imagine Dragons, Sigma, The 1975

Roadman

The fastest growing sub-culture in the UK. Usually can be found around your local McDonald or in a VW Golf. Each of them has a small man bag with crackers and a pack of balloons in. They desperately want to have a fight with you and spend their weeknights on The Basement. At Reading they will probably try to mosh to every song going, wear a waterproof in the blazing sunshine and inexplicably will spit at everything. Long live the Grime takeover. 

What Drugs Are They Taking?

MDMA, Pills, Ketamine, Frosted Jacks

What Are They Wearing?

The North Face, Nike, Adidas, Supreme, Palace, Stone Island, Anything your Dad used to wear when he was a hooligan

Who Are They Listening To?

My Nu Leng, DJ EZ, Section Boyz, Hannah Wants, Boy Better Know

Indie Kid

They have been counting down for this day since they left Truck Festival. Indie Kids get on with it at Festivals as they’re used to stupidly big crowds and overhype. Usually can be complaining or lusting over the aesthetics of ‘Submarine’ and independent retailers. On Instagram they all have impeccable themes and seem to listen exclusively to vinyl. At the festival expect them to be sat around the campfire mocking those who want to sing Wonderwall and trying to stay warm in their new ‘drug rugs’ from the stupid amount of Charity Shops around the campsite.

What Drugs Are They Taking?

Cannabis, Strongbow

What Are They Wearing?

Hareem Pants, Their Dad’s shirts, Doc Martens, Fishnets, Glitter, Temporary tattoos for children

Who Are They Listening To?

Foals, Slaves, Cage The Elephant, Hinds, The Temper Trap

Private School By Day, Class A By Night

Due to Reading Festival’s proximity to huge amounts of private schools and some pretty good sixth forms, there is an inundation of ‘quite posh’ people. These teenagers can be seen in the VIP booth at your local shitty club, or maybe in Winchester driving their Fiat 500. The thing with these teenagers is that they have spare cash, and 9/10 that ends up in their nostrils. If it is mentioned in the Misuse Of Drugs Act 1971, they will do it- just to pass the time. At Reading Festival expect them to be begging you for gum, perhaps saying ‘Rah’ and looking shifty in the queue. 

What Drugs Are They Taking?

Whatever they can get their hands on

What Are They Wearing?

Hunter Wellingtons, Leavers hoodie, Sunglasses, Neon face paint, Rubgy shirt

Who Are They Listening To?

Red Hot Chili Peppers, Courteeners, Two Door Cinema Club, David Rodigan

“This festival used to be all about the music man”

These are grown up humans going to a music festival in which last year I saw someone snort their own vomit for a fiver. I can only assume that these people cannot be trusted at all ever. If you ever end up in a conversation with them, be prepared to have to explain what Pokemon Go is and why teens nowadays don’t really appreciate the music. Avoid these grown up humans who go just because they have been for the last 20 years. Also avoid their children that will collect empty plastic cups for their parents to get money off the next Carlsberg, they may bite.

What Drugs Are They Taking?

Carlsberg, Luke warm Carlsberg, May be Carlsberg but could be piss

What Are They Wearing?

Leather jackets, Too many piercings, Ripped fishnets, Metallica merchandise

Who Are They Listening To?

Biffy Clyro, Eagles Of Death Metal, Bill Bailey, Frank Turner