2013 was a good year for music. There are no ifs no buts, it was a vintage year. Almost every single artist released an album, Bowie, Beyoncé, Gaga, Arctic Monkeys, Jay Z, Kanye West, James Blake, Daft Punk, Foals, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire, Drake, Justin Timberlake, Lorde, Eminem, MIA, Miley Cyrus, Bastille, Katy Perry, Jake Bugg, Haim, Biffy Clyro and like anyone (except Rihanna). So what about next year, what are we supposed to expect in 2014 if every artist who matters has released something?
There should be a couple of things coming up, hopefully Iggy Azalea will finally release The New Classic and Azealia Banks will live up to her hype of 212. Those are more or less certain, but what about some fantasy music scenarios that I’d like to see happen…
GAGA DRESSES IN A TRACKSUIT
The queen of Avant Garde is no stranger to some bizarre fashion choices. In 2013 we saw smudged face paint, clam bras and some strange hash brown mask. But this year she will have no more weird clothes, mother monster will go out one day without any make-up and hair scraped back à la people from Basingstoke. She’ll sign a contract with Fila and Le Coq Sportif and wear an all over velour tracksuit. How very ARTPOP.
JAKE BUGG ED SHEERAN BEN HOWARD SUPERGROUP
After Sheeran has finished dominating overseas he’ll come back home and begin to work on a new album, with his contemporise Jake Bugg and Ben Howard. All three will create soft acoustic tracks and sing incoherently for their album called ‘Bedtime’. It will probably win every single Brit possible and will be loved by teenage girls for all of history.
ONE DIRECTION COLLAB WITH ODD FUTURE
The squeaky clean pop stars will ditch their X Factor roots and go into the underground to find their ‘true style’. Six months later Styles and crew will re-appear with Hip-Hop group Odd Future. One Direction will begin foul mouthed tirades on popular culture and wear hoodies with cats on. Tyler, The Creator will take young Zayn Malik under his wing and teach him how to rap and make music videos.
MILEY CYRUS HEADLINES GLASTONBURY
Once the world has admitted that there is now way to beat twerking, Miley Cyrus will make her move. After a wild night on the town Michael Eavis rings Miley asking her to headline Glasto. This results in a Sunday night slot at the biggest festival in the world, complete with dwarves, teddies, Robin Thicke and lots of twerking. Prince William and Kate visit the singer and ask for her to sing at George’s first birthday.
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